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Emma Giles - Is it a lamp shade? Is it a cake? Or is Giles just stuck in folded pieces of fabric? We'll never know.

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Shane Crawford and Olivia Andersen - This is what a fine Anchorman-inspired suit looks like. It's always good when you can see your reflection in a suit jacket.

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Andrew McLeod and Rachel McLeod - Andrew McLeod announced his retirement from AFL football on August 23, 2010. This picture was taken in 2006. Was this a sign?

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Peter Bell and Lana - In 2000 we saw Peter Bell showing up at Crown Casino in Melbourne in what appears to be one of his taller mate's tux. Come on Peter, at least you could've straightened the bow tie.

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Jordan Paplia - Sometimes you make poor decisions in life, including when you choose a dress that makes you look like you're wearing whipped cream.

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Richard Osborne and Natalie - Former player Richard Osborne arrives with wife Natalie wrapped up in a dazzling gold-sequined curtain.

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Nathan Buckley and Tania - We get it, it was the year 2000, but blimey, Tania looks like a blonde Xena the Warrior Princess at formal.

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Brodie Holland and Sarita Stella - Nothing better than a dominatrix-inspired look on the red carpet. Especially if your date is wearing that shirt.

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Gavin Waganeen and his partner - Maybe the former footballer could have told his partner that her dress wasn't the best choice before they left the house.

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Josh Francou and Jo - Back then, Josh Francou apparently didn't know what a tailor was. Or maybe it was fashionable to wear suits with extra-long sleeves, who knows?

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Robert Harvey and Danielle - Oh dear, was Robert Harvey a member of the clergy? Or was he just auditioning for a role in 'The Matrix?'

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Russell Robertson and Brooke - In the words of Michael Jackson,"it's black, it's white. It's tough for them to get by."

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Simon Marshall - When he was not riding horses, Simon Marshall was wearing dreadful blazers.

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Tiffany Cherry, Molly Meldrum and Leah Hudson - Maybe Meldrum should have been a little more critical of his own outfit...

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Dean Cox and his partner - When keeping it simple really does nothing for you.

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Brodie Holland and Sarita Stella - Brodie and Sarita, or Mr. Couch and Mrs. Curtain.

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Matthew Richardson and Merinda Jackson - When you combine a poorly designed dress with shoes that are just too small for your feet.

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Trent Croad and Tanya Stewart - Sometimes you can pull off an animal print dress, but sometimes you should just leave it for a girls' night out instead of a red carpet event.

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Jason Johnson and Marina Timmons - A malfunctioning sewing machine is the only legitimate explanation for why this dress looks like this. 

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Matthew Pavlich and Lauren O'Shannessy - Why on Earth would you wrap yourself like a Christmas present?

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Michael Braun and Bree Johnson - Honestly, what is that bit hanging at the bottom of her dress? That just looks like a tripping hazard waiting to happen. 

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Daniel Kerr and Melanie Cousins - Melanie tried to add a touch of royal glamour to the red carpet. She failed miserably though.

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Peter Helliar - Alright mate, we know you're in character, but that's one bad outfit, even for Strauchanie.

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Shane Crawford and Olivia Anderson - Shane does it again. That suit and shoes combo is something else, completely. There's not much else to do but pity his taste in fashion.

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Catherine Chappelle - A Moulin Rouge-inspired sleeping gown always turns heads on the red carpet.

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Jarrad McVeigh and Clementine McVeigh - Clementine McVeigh shone on the 2013 Brownlow Medal—literally.

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Nick Maxwell and Erin Maxwel - How does this dress work, exactly? Zip it up? Zip it down? This seems like a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

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Taylor Wilson - Sexy transparency faux pas at its best. We get it, you want to show off your tat. We're still not impressed though.

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Luke Shuey and Danielle Orlando - Speaking of transparency, the fact that this dress is more elaborate doesn't necessarily mean that it's less ugly.

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Logan Shine -

If you want your train to look like a fluffy hotel room carpet, then take some inspiration from this dress.

See also: Brownlow Medal: best looks through the years

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